In the beginning of treatment, I will perform an assessment, which includes family history, and formal testing for sex addiction and trauma. 

 

The next step is creating a plan to take back your life by a.) quickly reducing your stress by addressing the current crises and b.) increasing  your resilience by identifying  your personal triggers and learning to take alternative action .  As your counsellor,  I will support you in uncovering the motivation and commitment to clean out the dark corners and change your experience of despair, loneliness and guilt.  You will experience the relief of speaking honestly about your life without being judged or shamed. You will no longer need to lie in the effort to save your “hidden self”. 

 

Counselling works because it is relational, but it is different from other relationships in the following ways:

 

• it is client-centred,

• clear boundaries exist,

• it is problem-focused and solution-oriented,

• it models respectful connection and intimacy,

• it is a safe place to be honest. 

 

One tool that we will use is the Facing The Shadow Workbook by Dr. Patrick Carnes, a task-based step by step recovery program considered to be the gold standard of sex addiction recovery.  The first seven tasks focus on:

• how sex addiction starts

• understanding denial and how to overcome it

• how to deal with the results of your actions

• how to manage change and crisis

• how to “do life” differently

• how spirituality affects recovery

• who to share with safely, and how

 

Other tools used in counselling include education around addiction and how the brain works for us and against us, and the power of mindfulness, gratitude exercise and choice to change the brain at a biological level. Brain changes begin as soon as you talk about what you’re feeling.  Your addictive behaviour is an ingrained coping skill which has created neural pathways that encourage you to continue on this self-destructive path - building new pathways is the way out. 

 

Many years have gone into your brain’s current wiring, and so focused practice is required to make real change.  Individual counselling is often the centering core of a journey that may eventually include group therapy, 12-step program attendance, and couples or family therapy.

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